Cooking for Tender Times: Bringing Comfort Through Food
I used to say that when the going got tough, the tough got cooking. But over the years, I’ve come to believe that when times are tender, we can tend to each other (and ourselves) through food.
Recently, when my friend Michael was home recuperating from a surgery, I called to see if he wanted company. “Yes, please,” he said, “and please bring soup!” Michael owns a bookshop and loves to cook. Over the years, he and I have cooked together on many occasions. (He once hosted a soup party for my book signing for Soup’s On!) So, on the way to Michael’s, I stopped to buy chicken, onions, celery, and carrots, then brought everything over. I sauteed and seasoned the vegetables, covered them with water, and put the chicken in the pot. While the soup simmered, we sat down and chatted about our favorite recipes. Just the aroma alone lifted both our spirits. By the time I left, we were planning our next party.
Later that month, when my aunt wasn’t feeling well, I made her an apple crisp. I chopped the apples into a pan with cinnamon, brown sugar, and lemon juice; topped the mixture with a simple crumble; and popped it in the oven. “Yay! Yay! Yay!” she said when the crisp later emerged, bubbling and golden brown.
Photo by Molly DeCoudreaux
Over the years, I’ve carried pot pies to new parents who’ve just had babies, baked banana bread to welcome new neighbors, and jarred up Bolognese sauce for friends who needed some extra help. Food has the power to heal, to comfort, and to convey care and affection. When someone is sick or recuperating and is unable to cook, I’ve found that bringing some food over is a soothing way to nurture them.
When I am deciding what to cook for someone, I love to cook food that evokes a sense of connection or a shared memory. For my brother, I might make something we used to eat as kids; for a friend, I will look for inspiration in a seasonal ingredient.
When my friend Kate got sick, her whole family came from Massachusetts to visit. When I asked her mother what I could bring over, she requested “something with rhubarb.” I transformed my apple crisp recipe into a strawberry-rhubarb version using three beautiful stalks and a basket of berries I found at the farmer’s market. I loved chopping up the red fruit; how the filling cooked to a crimson color and, of course, the way the whole thing made my house smell. I delivered the pie warm from the oven, and we shared it as a family. The whole time I was baking, I thought of the many happy times Kate and I had enjoyed walking through the Ferry Plaza market together. Though Kate has passed, she is in my heart every day.
Cooking for friends is as comforting for me as it is for the people I cook for. I may not be able to solve a situation but perhaps, for a moment, we can find joy and comfort through the making and sharing of a meal.
If you’re looking for dishes to cook and share, you might consider macaroni au gratin, green chile stew, and of course, matzo ball soup. You can find more ideas and recipes to make and take to your loved ones here.